We’re Surprised His Semen Isn’t Pure Lard By Now

If you place Kevin Federline’s semen on a slide and peer at it through a microscope, you will see the mustachioed strongman from the circus, Batman, Captain “Sully” Sullenberger, Juggernaut from the X-Men, and the ‘85 Bears. His seed will not be stopped. He has two children with Shar Jackson, two with Britney Spears, and now, he’s impregnated his present girlfriend. Or so the Enquirer says:

Pro volleyball player Victoria Prince said she found out in mid-October that she’s expecting K-Fed’s fifth child, and friends fear the surprising baby news could send the emotionally fragile Britney back off the rails.

“Britney never wanted Kevin to have another child unless it was with her,” revealed a source. “She desperately wants to have a baby girl, and she had hoped Kevin would be the dad.”

Britney, meanwhile, appeared in Perth, Australia, donning a see-through T-shirt and no bra, her tits really getting into the spirit of being Down Under.