Oh come on, people!
There's so much existing juicy smut in the world, from Tiger Woods to the backstage dealings on The Bachelor. Why add Lindsay Lohan to the mix when the mix is already brimming with tawdriness?
The disgruntled starlet exclusively tells E! News that there is no truth to a report—which started all the way in the U.K., for goodness' sake—that she's super concerned about a sex tape, featuring one of her more private performances, going public.
Not only has she not reacted in the manner the tabloids are saying—"I haven't even heard of this," Lohan insists—but there is simply no tape at all.
Alright, Lindsay, carry on.